I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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