it wasn't lemon gatorade
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
