Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
