why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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