dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
