My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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