I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
