Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
