This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
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He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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