I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
