he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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