How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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