im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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