I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so let's talk penis.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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