That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
