There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
