my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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