I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
