That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
