Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize