nut hugger
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
