just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
