It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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