i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
