No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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