Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
