the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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