It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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