who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize