I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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