I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
