i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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