Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
