is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish i was in the wii world.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
