Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
