I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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