when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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