1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i drank out of a bidet.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I have post one night stand depression
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