You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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