Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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