you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
