whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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