I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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