I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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