jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
