Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
