Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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