1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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