Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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