they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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