Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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