UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
