SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize