how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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