You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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