I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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