My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Randomize
