Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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