SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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