i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
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i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize